For exaggerated effect: Surveys don’t change sales

Apple says its laptops are selling briskly, better than the previous year, but would you be shocked to find out that a headline disagrees with that? Probably not. You’ve read this column before, right? You’re jaded, Monica. It happens.

Writing for the Forbes contributor network and late night informercial for a miracle urinary tract infection cure for cats, Ewan Spence says “Apple Losing Out As Consumers Reject New MacBook Pro.” (Tip o’ the antlers to @JonyIveParody.)

Don’t bother sending invoices to Forbes, readers. They do not reimburse for spit-take damage done to your screen.

So, “customer” are “rejecting” the 2016 MacBook Pro. By buying more of them than ever (it took Apple until near the end of January to catch up with demand). Must be some of that “fake news” the Macalope’s been hearing about. The headline here is at least wrong and, while most of Spence’s article is just grazing the guardrail going around the corners on Crazytown Drive and he never really breaks through to explode spectacularly over Bananaville Gulch, he still revs the engine a lot.

All is not well with Apple in the world of desktop and portable computers.

All is also not well with the amount of lead in the drinking fountain at Forbes but we see startlingly few articles about that. Certainly Apple has stumbled badly on its desktop lineup. There is simply no room for disagreement there. Laptops, however, while in a transition period, are still doing quite well.

What’s Spence’s evidence to the contrary?

For [Laptop’s] 2017 survey, Apple has plummeted down the charts to fifth place alongside Acer but behind Lenovo, Asus, Dell and HP.

The Macalope has a Lenovo in the house and, suffice it to say, he and Laptop will have to agree to violently, no-holds-barred disagree Muay Thai-style on that one (although, admittedly, his is not a 2016 model). Where Laptop knocked the current field of MacBooks is mostly in price and needing dongles. Which, OK, fine, you might…

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